i'm at changi airport... and in less than 10 minutes... i'm going to fly to jakarta...
i can't believe it has not been 2 months since i got back... but it really seemed like forever... so what's the difference now? she'll be picking me up... and she said she'll be taking me as far as she can towards my home... but i'll only be going to her home...
so... see you in a couple of days...
.103.
Tuesday, 18 September 2007
happy birthday to me... happy birthday to me... lol... such a fool...
anyways, today's my birthday, so let's start with the counting, how many people have greeted me this morning alone? my girlfriend is the first (duh, of course), then a few people following after, then i went to bed, i'm already too tired. but not before a little something something, she would know... lol...
she didn't basically called my in the middle of the night to say "happy birthday darling"... no... i called her at around 10 p.m here... and we talked, and we talked... until midnight, and she jumped and said... "happy birthday honey, may all your wishes come true, and may *censored*"... lol... you don't think i'd share that with you guys, right? lol... then in the morning i woke up, and found my yahoo messenger is already somewhat flooded with private messages, i couldn't believe that they remembered my birthday, if i remembered correctly, most of them didn't even remember my birthday last year... lol...
okay, as pathetic as it may seem, i still have tons of work to do... i have 8 design documents to finish before the end of the month... so, better get that meter running mister, because you're in for a pot-load of overtime charges, transport charges, i can go on and on and on... lol...
i am currently listening to goo goo dolls, from transformers soundtrack, but somehow, xanga can't lookup for the song? is it just me? or is it xanga? okay, got to go now, everybody's running up my butt
.102.
Saturday, 08 September 2007
wow... it has almost been a month since my latest entry... i don't think that i was that busy... i just think that i didn't really know what to write...
it has been an excruciating month... tons of work to do... but i can't seem to find the mood for it... every morning is like this... i wake up at 8, considerably late since i went to sleep past midnight... take a bus to the mrt station... brace myself to be crushed in the mrt because it's jam-packed at that hour... arrived at the office before 10... catching up on emails, preparing meeting materials, catching up on designs, do some mock up... and before 2 hours, someone asks me questions... about technical stuffs actually, then i have to explain everything, again... and i just said to myself... great, that just ruined my working mood...
i'm not poor anymore... i got most of my money back... most of the guys have paid for the rent... so, when i saw my savings account has that sum of money, i was thinking... hmm... i wanna go home... take a nice few days holiday... so i purchased the ticket... the funny thing was... when i told her i'm coming back a few days after my birthday... she told me... save up money... don't go home too often... she's coming here at year end anyways... but when i insisted... she told me to inform her the plane ticket first... she'll be the judge of whether it's expensive or not... lol...
speaking of which... two days ago was her birthday... i was here... so it's kinda suck... but not as suck as last year... last year... i haven't gotten her in my arm... i called her exactly at midnight... she was already sleeping, but before she went to sleep she said she'd be turning on her cell phone... lol... i got the point... anyways, she just can't talk straight when she's still sleepy... lol... talking to her like that made me miss her... :'(
ow yea... her folks went here a couple of weeks ago... for vacation... i didn't spend much time with them... but then again... i was tied up with work stuffs... but i still manage to squeeze a little time to have lunch with them... and i took them to the airport though... but all in all, it's just nice to see a familiar face here... lol
i'll be off... my room is bloody messy... everything is everywhere... i need to tidy up my room... she'll be staying here when she's here... oh my god, what'll she think of me when she sees my room... lol...
.101.
Saturday, 18 August 2007
it has been quite some time now... and here are the list of the things (considerably big events) that has happened to me while i've been gone from the so-called cyber-world... * i moved to a new apartment... * this apartment cost me a pot-load of money, simply because my friends haven't paid me back, but soon * i went back to jakarta for a considerably long time, that's 4 days... yes... it's days... * that trip alone costs me around 500 bucks... * thus with all those, i'm currently living with not more than 200$ in my wallet and not more than 300$ in my savings account
so... how bout that...? okay... so let's start with the story... my friend was getting married, he was my colleague back when we were in the same company and in the same project... we shared those excruciating moments of sleepovers at the office for months... and last week he got married... he married his long-time girlfriend, i think it was from college... but good for him... anyways... i was planning to take a trip to jakarta for his wedding... and since it was national day here, there was a long weekend... so it was kinda perfect timing... so i bought a ticket... at a considerably expensive price...
so i arrived at jakarta... a little before midnight, and she was still waiting for me, waiting by the phone though... she didn't want to have to take a cab to the airport considering jakarta is not that safe to roam alone... i called her immediately after i had landed... that feeling that i was about to see her again in a matter of hours was great, it was actually something i was looking forward to in the past few months...
so the next day was still a thursday, so i spent the whole morning sleeping, and the whole afternoon being called by her every five minutes... even though it's a little of a hassle to cut the line every five minutes and having to wait for her to call again in a few moments... but it was still good, because the both of us didn't have to spend a dime... lol... that night we agreed that i'd pick her up at her office... so i did... but wait... she got her own motorcycle so if i were to drive myself... it'd be rather tedious... so i took a public transport... which reminded me the exact reason why i hated them so much... they're hot! they're smelly! they're not safe! and they stop alot!!! so in two hours time i arrived at her office with a wet shirt but thinking i'll be driving her motorcycle... it'll dry... lol... so we went to citraland... for those of you jakarta people, you might already know that there were quite a lot of recent incidents there... many people were abducted for ransoms and everything... thank god nothing happened!!!i wouldn't know what i would do if something were to happen. so anyways, back to the story, she dyed her hair... i was kinda reluctant to it at first, but she said it's only brown... so i guess it'd still be okay... i just found out that it took you almost two friggin' hours to dye your hair!!! i ended up doing nothing!!! and yet still having to go home quite late!!! around 10 p.m... so i drove her home and i took public transport back to my place... but while on the way... she texted me, saying that her mom was quite angry, but not because i got her home late, but because she let me go home with public transport instead of driving her motorcycle.. lol... frankly that was rather funny even though she was a bit upset the the fact... lol...
remembering that i hate public transport so much, i decided to pick her up to work the following morning, so she wouldn't have to drive her own motorcycle... she said she usually leaves at 7, so i gotta go at 5 from my place... geez that's early... and i only had slept for 3 hours... but it's okay... i'd do that if it's for her... so i picked her up to work and got back home to catch up on my sleep until later that evening when i have to pick her up from work again, we were planning a date... so that night we were planning on catching up on some movies... where...? at ex... but when we reached there... unfortunately... the parking lot was rather eerie... so hell no, i'm not gonna park there... we went straight to taman anggrek... but unfortunate for me... the motorcycle was leaking... the gasoline was leaking... i didn't know why... and put together the fact that i know so little about mechanical stuffs, and the fact that i don't know zip about automatic motorcycle... that was verrrryyyy infuriating... so i told her to call her parents to pick her up and i'll be waiting until they arrived... but when her parents arrived... surprisingly... they told me to keep the motorcycle at one of the houses there... and spend the night at their house, well, it was very late... and i didn't know what to do with that wretched motorcycle... so i did... but i couldn't sleep... at all...
i was practically spending the night looking up the ceiling and doing nothing... but instantly i knew what to do... so i rummaged her room, her closet, her books... and i found an interesting book... lol... she'd know what i mean... so i read the book.. it was okay but i didn't really enjoyed reading it... and 5 a.m in the morning both her parents were already awake... and so was i... in fact... i hadn't been sleeping... so i stepped out of the room and talked to her parents... her mom readied some breakfast for me... it was nice... i kinda felt like home... shortly after that, i went with her father to pick up the motorcycle we left the day before, but then i told him to go home because i have already been troubling him so much... lol... and then comes the best part...
it was still very early in the morning... and i was waiting for my dad to come... because he knows more, if not much more about mechanical stuffs than me... when i saw him from afar... i can immediately tell that he did not look happy... ow my god... i'm in for a trouble... i thought that since we are in a public place, he wouldn't yell at me... but i was wrong... really wrong... he yelled at me the instant he got there... aw man... how embarrassing was that to be 20 something year old guy with his father yelling him in a public place... i don't really want to share i we came to fix the motorcycle... but it took us around 4 hours to fix it... but infact the only thing that's wrong was that the gasoline pipe was loose... i was furious... verrry furious... i had put an angry face all throughout the day... i had missed my friend's wedding... i had wasted a night... i had troubled her parents... only for a puny problem... damn i was really pissed...
i text her that i'd be coming over that night... but with her angry voice she told me to get some rest or she'd be real pissed... and that tone alone had given me a new understanding about the term... there's no wrath like a woman's scorned... lol... she wasn't being scorned... but she sounded pissed about the possibility that i might not be resting... lol... so after sleeping i went to her place... just planned to go to church together... and watched a movie... cool... somehow my rage about the previous 2 days subsided... it was saturday... so i realized i still have one more day to spend... actually, never have i felt counting the days... each days that passed felt like gold slipping away from my fingers... so i planned on using the best of my time with her... and with that, i mean i wouldn't be telling you what happend on sunday... lol... but rest assured... i'm no jerk...
so it has been a week... another excruciating week... with the constant throbbing headache... with her keep telling me to go see a doctor... but couldn't find the time due to constant overtime... and this is the first resting day i've got... so i think i'll be spending it resting... sigh... but i'll be calling her later tonight... that'd get me through the week...
btw, did you noticed, this is the hundredth entry... great isn't it...?
.100.
Thursday, 02 August 2007
so, how long has it been? it has only been 2 weeks but it seems forever when i finally had the chance to open my personal mail and replied all the mails that i should have replied a long time ago. i've been so busy with work stuffs and i only have the chance to open my corporate email... damn that's long...
so, we're on design phase, but it seems other than me and my friends that are stuck in this project for almost two years, nobody seems to give a shit what we're struggling with... so the 4 of us ended up with tons of work to do, not because we have to do it, just because we feel more attached to the client than to our company...
i'm kinda the team lead for this, basically in charge of everything... from architecture to the low level designs... the thing is... i'm not even part of the team... that stupid guy put me in charge of support and maintenance for the previous phase... so when he realized that he had made a mistake, he bargained for me... what did he bargain for? basically, if i'm done with the support and maintenance tasks, he can use the remaining time that i have left to assign me with some task regarding the new phase... and seeing that i have full control of how the project is going to be like... i'm gonna make him pay...
so that's kinda it for me... i have to get back to work... i'll keep charging that stupid guy with overtime... i'll keep saying that no tasks are done even though i've finished it, so he'll panic... i'll keep acting like i don't give a shit how the project will turn out to be, even though i'm quite the opposite...
damn, this entry is more about work stuff... crap!! i can't think of any other thing...
anyways... i'll be going back to jakarta next week... it'll be national day here, and i'll be taking the friday of... so i'll fly for jakarta on the night of wednesday and have a great time!! oh yes, a great time!! i miss my baby so much...
this'll be the last entry with 2 digit index seeing that it has reached 99... cool...
.99.
Saturday, 14 July 2007
dare obasanjo: top 10 signs your software project is doomed
1. trying to do too much in the first version. 2. taking a major dependency on unproven technology. 3. competing with an existing internal project that is either a cash cow or has powerful backers. 4. the team is understaffed. 5. "complex problems require complex solutions". 6. schedule chicken 7. scope creep 8. second system syndrome 9. no entrance strategy. 10. tackling a problem you don't know how to solve.
i've written this before... and so far... these are what i have known...
1. we are doing too much... 2. no one really knows how to best use weblogic 9.2, yet we are depending on it... 3. it's still okay, we don't have any competition... 4. well it's not that we're understaffed, we don't have people with skills 5. yea... but even the high positioned people can't realize this... 6. i don't quite understand this term though... 7. well yea... the scope is a little tentative... 8. there won't be any second system... but isn't that the one that'll make it worse? 9. no entrance? what do you mean? 10. we are tackling problem, but no one knows the problems better than me, but unfortunately... i'm not on the team...
so... if "they" are reading this... wait 3 months... read this and weep... for i have told you... but you chose not to listen...
.98.
Tuesday, 10 July 2007
i didn't have much time to write anything... but actually so much has happened... i still can't find any time to update my blog... i still need some time to cater for my own problems... and work stuffs...
but this work stuffs are really killing me... i need a better time management... or better yet... a manager that has better time management skill to manage my tasks and all... at least better that this one... ow yea... this one truly sucks! he basically is scared of meeting the users, afraid that he might ends up having to do more things... crap! he's not the one that will be doing the actual development work after all!
and what about love life? well, it's actually going pretty good... i need to find some time to post it here though... but overall, it's going pretty smooth... well not all is going as per planned... but it's still cool... and have i mentioned before... she's now my best friend... how cool is that??
but my friend is having a bad news... i'll need to spend some time for that...
ps: this verse from bon jovi's bed of roses is really good with an ironclad fist i wake up
and french kiss the morning
while some marching band keeps
its own beat in my head
while we're talking
about all of the things that i long to believe
about love and the truth and
what you mean to me
and the truth is baby you're all that i need
.97.
Monday, 18 June 2007
hi all,
if you have read what you may consider as my happiest entry... well, regardless of what i write here in this entry, or how you all are going to interpret this, or even what ever you may think... this will stay as my happiest entry, thus far...
i made a considerably impulsive decision somewhere last month... i told her that i might be planning on going back to jakarta for the coming long weekend... but she said, why not go back on the 16th, she would be attending her friend's wedding... i did not think it through, i didn't take into account that i will be there only for 2 days, i didn't think that it will be a hellish ordeal to only be able to sleep for a little over 4 hours after i'm back at singapore again.. but it's still great nonetheless... it was the best 2 days of my life...
i was rushing to finish all my work by friday, not thinking that any unfinished tasks would be piling up the following monday, which is what i am experiencing now... i got out of the office just a little shy of 5 p.m and dashed to the airport by taxi, but i should've learned that taxi line at that time of day, is just hell... but i managed to get a taxi in about half an hour, and before long i arrived at changi... and when i hopped out of the taxi i was thinking like i have missed something... hmmm, what did i miss... passport, check... my wallet, check... my baggage and laptop, check... ticket, ow my god!!! i left my ticket at my desk... and the check-in line has already started... so i ran to the information counter... and got my ticket re-printed... phew... thank god, the push-mail is here... lol
i arrived late that night and take a taxi to reach home, i called her a few times, to re-confirm our plans following day and the day after... she said to be at her place before 9... ow my god... with only 5 hours to sleep (it took me around 2 hours to get from my place to her place) i basically race my bike against time... so i arrived before 8.30, and she's ready... okay... good... her father got the car out and warm up the engine... and we drove to the church for the friends holy matrimony... ow yea... she's driving, i don't have a driving license, and i can't drive a car... lol... my friend would've laughed hard...
after the church, we went to a mall, we planned to watch ocean's 13... but i saw fantastic four... so i urged her to watch that... and boy was that a bad choice... lol... the movie stopped at least 3 times during playback... but i wasn't gonna let small things like these ruin my holiday... generally the movie was good... and when silver surfer healed susan storm, it was kinda funny when silver surfer looked rusty afterwards... lol... after that we were strolling the mall for about an hour or two... and went home to prepare for the wedding reception... she wore a soft blue dress... and my god she looked like an angel... i'm not gonna post her picture her... lol... we went to the reception with her parent... her parents had another reception to attend and they dropped us at the meeting point... in two hours, her parent picked us up, and we went back home to her place... i was planning to go home as it was late already... and as i was already going out, i walked slowly to her and kissed her... boy that was miraculous... call me a sissy boy, but that was my first kiss... and so was hers... and i went home with a smile... the two hours ride didn't even weary me...
we planned to go to a church the day after, she told me to be there before 9 again... so yea, i race again... when i reached the final turn before her house... my tyre skidded... and i fell... thus ruining my handphone... aw man... i hope the warranty covers this... i drove slowly then... and she asked my why was i late, and opened the gate i told her i had an accident... that look on her face, boy that was one i could enjoy for a long time... lol... the detail for that day is only for me and her... and don't ever hope i would be sharing it here... not gonna happen... not ever... lol... don't go thinking anything weird... i'm not a jerk...
see you guys... my work is starting to pile up again, and my eyes can't seem to open... so, i'm gonna finish work fast and go home to get some sleep...
.96.
Wednesday, 13 June 2007
hi, it's been ages since i updated my blog... well, it's not that it has only been a couple of weeks, it's just that so much have happened... from another friend coming over... me going back to jakarta this weekend... our phone talks, those are just too great... lol... she would definitely understand if she reads this... so let's just do a recap on what have happened...
i was coming back to singapore with a smile on my face, one that i don't think anyone can take away... that i have already said... but if you read my next entry afterwards... you'd see that i was facing a small problem since we're separated by quite a distance... so we decided to take it slowly... but we went a little nuts on providing means of communication... okay, let's see... (one) i gave her my cdma phone so that i can contact her with a relatively low-rate cost... (two) she bought another gsm card that supposedly is able to call or text message me with a local rate... (three) we exchanged a lump sum of mails everyday, around a few dozens everyday, lol... (four) i now officially can finish a 10$ worth of idd (international direct dial) card within 2 days... so there a bunch of ways... you pick your favorite... lol
i have to find another place to stay... ah... the anxiousness of waiting for a callback from an agent, or the bidding when we wanted the place to be repainted, or the disappointment when the agent only has insufficient number of bedrooms in the unit... we decided to get a place near my old place, it's quite easy to go places, and it's practically a quiet neighborhood... but considering that the property rate has rocketed, it's now verrrrrry hard to find an affordable unit... let's just hope i can find a place before my term with my current owner ended... lol
ow yea... there was this lunch... a friend of mine asked me, "you wanna have some lunch together with the rest of the guys?" ow why not... so there i was, the only one without a girlfriend sitting by his side... everyone has a girlfriend... all, but me... quite sad... these friends of mine, the girls, they're living in the same unit, they cooked that weekend, and they invited their boyfriends, plus me... how sad is that? the cooking was nice, the event was nice also, but the atmosphere... man that was pretty intense... that point i kinda miss her badly, if i had a picture of her in front of me, i'd rip her out of the picture trying to bring her there to sit with me... lol
ps: you know who you are... if you're reading this... i have something to say... "ouch ouch ouch", lol... you'd understand...
.95.
Monday, 04 June 2007
it's been like two weeks i haven't written anything here... maybe because i haven't got anything to write... besides, what would you write if you spend the weekend at your own bed, just watching movies you downloaded before? lol...
i bought a guitar, it's a classical guitar, not acoustic guitar... for those of you who are wondering about the difference, classical guitar is the one with the big neck and usually with nylon strings, and acoustic guitar is the one with the slim neck and usually with metal strings... anyways... i was looking for a guitar that week and found one at sale, so i contacted the owner and we made a deal... so i went to his place to pick up the guitar, which was verrrrry hot on that day...
got me real excited actually, that guitar... it has been a long time since i played guitar... played along with old songs, played the lead guitar originally played with strings and i played it with nylon which makes it sound a little lame... lol
i went to eat butter crab yesterday... gosh it was great... butter crab... it's sooooo good that i am still imagining the taste even now... but better take note, that eating too much of this is not good for your health, it's crab, so i think the cholesterol level is rather high, and it's butter sauce so it's kinda fattening.
ps: i've put it in my schedule to take her there if she's here... lol
.94.
Monday, 21 May 2007
we're having a long distance relationship, and to tell you the truth, it's kinda hard. i would spend hours on the phone at almost a buck for three minutes, just listening to each other breathe and trying to think of what to say, the magic words that would make it easier to spend the remainder of the week or to sit quietly looking at your inbox hoping in the next few minutes there'll be a new message to get you through the rest of the day.
i would probably say that i'm in love. the mathematics of the thing was quite simple, yet brutal. the girl i love best in the world, with whom i hope to spend my happiest moments, with whom i hope to spend my future, was also the person who literally ripped my heart, twice. i had asked myself, if i could stop loving her, if i could stop the bleeding. but i could not stop loving her. i didn't want to stop. i wanted her to love me just as i love her.
she finally did...
someone asked me long ago. "why did you persist? even you should've known, it's not gonna be an easy one" i think the answer now would be rather simple, it's just the fact that i never imagine my live without her
when you've taken into account things that you need (read: had) to go through to get you to the place you are at now, it seems that getting your heart torn, or those tears shed, or even those broken promises, were actually worth the pain...
.93.
Friday, 11 May 2007
so i promised to give an update on what happened during my stay in jakarta... i think i gave a sneak peek on my previous entry... so i guess here's the full story...
may 4th: ====== i took the day off last friday, since my flight was at 1 p.m but unfortunately the check in counter wasn't open until an hour before the flight, so i spent like an hour an a half just wandering around, making phone calls, texted everyone i know, bought egg tarts... then the check in counter opened, so i checked in... then inside i had to spend another hour before boarding, so i walked around, trying to find burger king, which i didn't find... window shopping, and lots of useless stuffs... lol... just before 1 p.m i boarded, and had to spend another hour and a half in the plane, which to my dismay, i had to spend it sleeping... and so i arrived at jakarta... took a cab and got home... remembering that she had spesifically told me that me with a long hair is not exactly a pretty sight, i immediatelly went to a barber and cut it short, very short actually... i spent the rest of the day just talking with her on the phone, confirming our plan to go out to dinner... then came the following day...
may 5th: ====== i went to visit my cousin in kelapa gading... it didn't think that it would that long... i went before 10 a.m, but i left just before 6 p.m... the previous day i had booked a table for two at my choice of restaurant... it was booked under my name at 7.30 p.m... before 6 p.m i called her to confirm our plan, but she was quite surprised that i was still at kelapa gading, so i blitzed to her place... but unfortunately... there was traffic jam... so got there late... verrrry late...
when i arrived at her place, her mom told me not to go out anymore since it's already too late... that was really disappointing, but what can i do? so i spent the evening just talking to her, making jokes, laughing together... there was one time during that evening that she "accidentally" farted, and i burst a good laugh... when the night was about to end, i realized that it was time, it was either then or never... but unfortunately, i haven't even gathered my guts... so i picked the easiest way possible... i wrote something on my cell phone and handed over my cell phone to her... she read it, and i thought i saw a smile on her face... so we exchanged text messages... it was kinda funny, we were still talking and joking around but we communicated about "the topic" by text message... lol... i think i'm gonna keep that part to myself, but what i can share, you can read my previous entry... i think it was the happiest night of my life...
so i went home with a smile on my face, and i don't think anyone could ever take away that smile from my face...
may 6th: ====== i went to my uncle's grave, i met my other cousin and her family, they went to indonesia for a holiday i think... to my surprise, she's not as tall as i imagined, only as thin... plus, considering she is originally indonesian, she couldn't even talk one full sentence using indonesia... lol... we had family lunch, it was good except the fact that it was hot! i never thought jakarta could be that hot... she nearly had heat stroke and it was funny when she and her sister ran into air conditioned car right after we got out of the restaurant...
i was planning to go out with her and the rest of our cousins... but no one else was free enough, so i decided to go there all by myself... opened a map of jakarta and memorized my way to her place... but due to things out of our control, it was cancelled... lol...
may 7th: ====== that day i planned to spend the day with my friends... and considering that everyone was at work, and it was monday, so cinemas would be fairly cheaper, so i arranged the time for us to go to the cinema to watch spiderman 3... i bought the tickets at around noon, so there was no queue... took the time to wander around the mall before i went back home to take a short nap... at around 6 p.m i went back to the cinema with the rest of my friend... one thing to you all that haven't watched spiderman 3, it's not worth your ticket, for a highly anticipated movie, it wasn't an exceptional one... infact, it was only a comic... nothing more...
may 8th: ====== i literally spent the whole day just laying around at home, watching lois and clark season 3... calling her, actually she called me... oh yea... i forgot... i made plan for the following day, for a lunch date with her...
may 9th: ====== my last day in jakarta... i got a lunch date with her... she just moved to tebet, and infact, i haven't even gone there, like ever... lol... but i managed to arrive there without much hindrance, but i did got into a little traffic accident... lol... she was verrry pretty that day actually... i didn't quite like her rather brown hair, and her dark blue contact lens... but she was exceptionally beautiful... lol...
at 5 i went to the airport... and left her a little word from my own... and i arrived back here at singapore just past midnight... and back to the same routine... the only difference is that i have a smile on my face, one that no one can take away...
.92.
Thursday, 10 May 2007
i asked... and she said yes...
.91.
Monday, 30 April 2007
nice week isn't it everybody? it is a nice week, but i don't think it's a nice weekend...
last week i got caught up doing stupid things for a few days! just because i didn't see the file that got transfered, i got caught up doing stupid things for days! i caught up for like 3 days doing the same thing over and over again thinking that i may have made a mistake... but i made sure of myself that i didn't make any... but i still got confused why in my development it succeed, but it blew up during system integration test... so i told everyone what was the problem that i was having, but my eves caught a glimpse of something... so i immediately checked it... and yes... there was a misspell in the file that was transferred and the file was rejected by the application... so turned out... my application is still okay... with a minor flaw... but still okay...
i went to a bar friday night... at first we were planning to eat indonesian cuisine... so we did... but since we don't have nothing to do for the rest of the night... we went to a bar... it's an irish bar... it's great actually, i've been there before... ordered beer... ordered thin crusted pizza... took pictures... it was nice... but i think i can't take alcohol anymore... i don't know since when... but hadn't drink any alcohol for a long time... and that jug of beer really got me... lol... kinda stupid right? but i was feeling kinda good... since that means my metabolism is alcohol free... yay! lol...
it's a great week everybody... i'm going home this weekend... any my cousin is coming from canada, too... cool... and i get to execute my grand plan... lol... so i'll give you guys the update about my cousin's trip, and the outcome of my grand plan... say like... in two weeks? lol...
.90.
Wednesday, 25 April 2007
it's wednesday the 25th... so, by now you should've known that heroes episode 19 has already been aired in most of the western countries... as for me... i got the movie from a friend of mine yesterday...
i have to tell you, it's great! but waiting for over a month for something "just" like that? i just don't think that it's good enough... the the conflict left from the previous episode where peter's head was almost sliced open by sylar... it was resolved not more than 10 seconds... the only thing that i'm content about is the fact that not all heroes survived... one died... lol... i just gave a spoiler eh? and as you might have guessed, it's by sylar... but i think there's more to his death than just to make up a storyline... yea i said "he", there's another spoiler... lol...
update... it's 10 more days... i'm going back to jakarta!!! altho it's just for 5 days... but it's totally something i eagerly wait...
ps: is it just me, or can't xanga lookup for the word "heroes" for the show i currently watching...
.89.
Sunday, 15 April 2007
you know, sometimes, or maybe just once in your life time, you feel that you are somewhat special... and 2 weeks ago, i felt the same way... i mean, what are the chances you can say that the one you love is also your very best friend? we talked like there's no boundaries between us, we talked like we've known each others since we're little, we talked like there was no tomorrow... that was why i wrote in an entry once, it's funny how a simple gesture can pull you out of the brink... at that precise moment, i felt that this is why i love her... i felt that we are compatible for each other, we compliment each other... but the story was only beginning...
about a month ago, she texted me, asking why hadn't i called her... it was around that time that i felt that i'm finally getting close to her... after so, i started calling her regularly, from every saturday, every weekends, then everyday... i called her every single day, not a day missing that i don't hear her voice... when you reach a certain point in a relationship where you always have a feeling that you're always missing her, you start to call her everyday, not about what she's doing, who she's with, where she's now, it's only about talking, be it five minutes, be it three and a half hours, it's only about relieving that unbearable feeling of missing your other half... then it gets worse...
given the fact that i am quite a logical person, it's funny i can act this wierd in the relationship, it felt like i was nagging and craving for her attention... one day there comes a situation that unables us to talk for two days and i went nuts... but she hates it... she hates it when i start calling her four or five times an hour when she said don't call her just yet... i didn't realize this fact until just recently... so instead of leaving her alone for a couple of days, i started calling her, but this time, not because i miss her, but because i was curious, why wouldn't she talk to me... then the following days i felt like a wreck... the thought of her slipping away was unbearable... i know this sounds cocky, but i felt like i knew i had her...
then i talked to someone, a girl, because i thought she could better understand the situation... she asked for a detailed chronology of what happened so far, so i told her everything, while masking little things that i judged too personal... then my friend suggested that i give her a little space, cut the calling frequency by once a week, don't text her something that she would feel like she has to reply... just give her some time alone... but giving her some time alone worries me too much, i felt like i'm letting her slip... so i called her for just a minute saying something that i thought could make things better... but i was wrong...
those words i said on the phone put me right on square one again... i should've just listened to my friend's advice... so i hoped it was not too late, i gave her some space, i stopped calling her altogether, i texted her something only for her to read, not for her to reply... and i waited for about a week... although it nearly drove me nuts, i think it started to work... on friday i called her... and i felt some improvement... she talked normally... after retaining a good grip, i guess the next step is to move forward again... while keeping the same pace... even though i had slipped behind...
so the question is why... that has always been my question... why... why did she suddenly felt like i was nagging her... and if i really was nagging her, why was i nagging her? well, i wouldn't call that nagging her... but let me explain... for me, there are a two types of love... one is lover's love, you both have reciprocal feelings, you love each other as much... two is the unrequited love, this one i was the master... i have been loving her for so long without her returning the same feeling... and now, i'm moving from the second type to the first one, she now acknowledges my feeling and growing one herself... and when it feels like she's slipping away... and i, the one who finally moved from second type to the first one, feel like i have to step back... geez that was very unbearable... so forgive me for feeling that way, but it's not something you can control... it's something you're grown into...
.88.
Wednesday, 11 April 2007
it's been three days now that she's been giving me the silent treatment... i don't know what i did wrong, and i really don't know what she's been going through... for these kinds of things, for my friends, i have always been a good adviser... but it seems that i can't play both role very well... it's nearly impossible giving advice to yourself...
i tried to stand firm, but that night, even the sky looked as if it's on the verge of crying...
.87.
Monday, 09 April 2007
so, let's do a check list...
plane ticket? check... restaurant booking? check... leave approval? almost check... address alteration? almost check...
well, so i guess i can only say i'm half ready...
i'm planning to take a leave on the 7th of may, until the 11th of may perhaps... so then i'll be having holiday from the night of the 4th until the night of the morning of 14th. i'm planning to go back to jakarta for about a week... you know... i still have things to settle back in jakarta if you know what i mean... i'm gonna take her to dinner, and finish what i came for... and hopefully by then, i'll be having her heart all to myself... i mean, imagine, a dinner, on top of a tall building, with a view of jakarta at night, totally your kinda romantic dinner huh? so i guess there'll be another update about this around the 14th of next month, since i won't be able to get online in jakarta much less to update my blog. so i'll be hoping for all your prayers, and crossing my finger... lol...
i haven't been in contact with her this weekend... well, yea we talked on the phone on wednesday night for almost 4 hours... but that doesn't count, now does it...? well i did call her for a short while on thursday of friday, but we didn't talk at all from saturday, sunday, and now on monday 10.43 am, we still haven't spoken... she went to bandung and i think she must be tired, so i didn't call her... and trust me... when the feeling becomes unbearable, geez that's totally agitating... but i think i'll call her tonight...
another update to myself, i know this sounds a bit weird, but now it's kinda unsettling for me everytime she goes to bandung, but even she's asking me, why do i have to feel that way... so i guess i can relax...
.86.
Tuesday, 03 April 2007
so, i have found a small secret of hers... and it's quite funny while at the same time also being too private to be written here... but, it only shows that she's also human, while at the same time also being my angel... i just write this to keep this in mind... because, some other time, maybe, i would like to read this and laugh... lol...
another update, so... she found another way to always have me following her every will... and it's working quite well for her in fact... i couldn't do anything about it, when she threatens me... sigh... why do women always have to have something to blackmail us...
.85.
Tuesday, 27 March 2007
jerry weinberg: the 10 commandments of egoless programming
1. understand and accept that you will make mistakes. 2. you are not your code. 3. no matter how much "karate" you know, someone else will always know more. 4. don't rewrite code without consultation. 5. treat people who know less than you with respect, deference, and patience. 6. the only constant in the world is change. 7. the only true authority stems from knowledge, not from position. 8. fight for what you believe, but gracefully accept defeat. 9. don't be "the guy in the room." 10. critique code instead of people— be kind to the coder, not to the code.
dare obasanjo: top 10 signs your software project is doomed
1. trying to do too much in the first version. 2. taking a major dependency on unproven technology. 3. competing with an existing internal project that is either a cash cow or has powerful backers. 4. the team is understaffed. 5. "complex problems require complex solutions". 6. schedule chicken 7. scope creep 8. second system syndrome 9. no entrance strategy. 10. tackling a problem you don't know how to solve.
michael mcdonough: the top 10 things they never taught me in design school
1. talent is one-third of the success equation. 2. 95 percent of any creative profession is shit work. 3. if everything is equally important, then nothing is very important. 4. don’t over-think a problem. 5. start with what you know; then remove the unknowns. 6. don’t forget your goal. 7. when you throw your weight around, you usually fall off balance. 8. the road to hell is paved with good intentions; or, no good deed goes unpunished. 9. it all comes down to output. 10. the rest of the world counts.
andres taylor: top 10 things ten years of professional software development has taught me
1. object orientation is much harder than you think. 2. the difficult part of software development is communication. 3. learn to say no. 4. if everything is equally important, then nothing is important. 5. don’t over-think a problem. 6. dive really deep into something, but don’t get hung up. 7. learn about the other parts of the software development machine. 8. your colleagues are your best teachers. 9. it all comes down to working software. 10. some people are assholes.
i didn't write them, i got them from another blog... kinda funny eh... and i realize that some points by andres taylor are the same as some points by michale mcdonough... nevertheless, enjoy...
